Community Stories
Each month Face of Fifty will share a story from a member of the community. These stories will provide glimpses into their lives navigating the world as a black woman in her fifties. The stories will cover everything from family, health, dating, surviving loss, starting over, and more! We hope these stories inspire and enlighten you.
Almost Leaving The Nest by Teresa Adigun
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I went to the restroom and a big gush of blood was expelled from my body, and I felt intense pain in my huge eight and a half, almost nine-month belly. (And I promise, there was no hanky panky that night!!) Luckily the, ‘oh, you are having a baby’ bag was packed and ready to go! When I arrived at the emergency room, and began the triage process, I kept thinking, what is wrong with me? My blood pressure (b/p) was 170/90 and rising, 180/96, 190/90, protein in my urine, and my body looked like if you stuck a pin in it, it would instantly deflate.
“Mr. Adigun, we need to start a drip of pit– now Potocin– (more like a raging thunderstorm or a pit of hell) on your wife. We need to deliver the baby, or she will need an emergency C-section.” As I am going in and out of consciousness (veins being pumped up with IV Dilaudid and Zofran), I’m thinking to myself, Oh, no! I’m going to have this baby naturally, no cutting! Or was I thinking at all? After all, I was under the influence of some superior pain meds. |
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The epidural was administered, as another contraction came, and I was willing to do whatever was necessary– Just don’t cut me! I was in so much pain! What type of pain is this? Who does this? How can any human being endure such pain? The pain meds made me loopy but true relief began when the epidural finally kicked in. Late in the afternoon, I starting pushing like my life depended on it (and it did), I was aware but in denial that it was quite possible I could die on the delivery table. HELLP syndrome (hemolysis, elevated liver enzymes, low platelet count) and preeclampsia (toxemia) were terms I’d learned in nursing school, but never thought they would apply to me. I didn’t think of myself as immortal but I was only 28 years old, and couldn’t imagine bleeding to death. I felt I was too young to even think about going to meet my maker. And I was spared after I eventually delivered a beautiful baby girl!
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Three years later: “Mrs. Adigun, you have gained 7 pounds this week, last week 6 pounds, your face is puffy, feet are swollen (pin cushion), and your b/p is slowly going up (160’s/80’s).” This was threatening to me because my normal b/p is 110/70. So, I thought, Oh, okay here we go again with this word: TOXEMIA! This word and condition continued to haunt me and I felt like it wanted to take my very existence. I prayed– No, don’t take me I need more time! I’m a good person. Fortunately, this time they caught it early. Six weeks of bed rest. I remember reading my doctors lips, but I don’t remember actually hearing those words because I had already started to protest in my mind. But I need to work, and take of my family! Those were my thoughts but in reality I had a great job, with good benefits, sick and paid time off (which I quickly realized even then, many are not blessed with such benefits). Then I heard another dreaded word: ‘We will INDUCE your labor with POTOCIN a planned birth this time.’ How do you plan for pain? Well, I tried to prepare but imagine a thunderstorm raging with no relief in sight. My epidural during the ravaging contractions didn’t take, and I felt every thunderous contraction. The worst pain is expecting to be relieved of expected pain with no relief in sight! But like a victorious solider, I pushed even harder this time and late in the morning, I delivered my second baby girl.
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I told someone I realized I was a mother not by the first couple of sleepless nights, but when I had to pack a diaper bag, put my daughter in the car seat, buckle her in, (how many steps does this take!) and then watch this child, as my husband gingerly drove us to the appointment. I walked into the doctor’s office and felt instant nausea and asked myself, ‘What did you do?’ You see, the immense pressure of now taking care of another human being hit me like a scale of 10/10 crushing heart attack pain, impending doom! I don’t think anything prepares you for the ride of pregnancy and then motherhood! Everyone’s experience and expectations are so different.
"Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay." - Dalai Lama
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Fast forward now my daughters are twenty-two and nineteen years old, it has been an absolute privilege to raise two (yep, two was enough, no more brushes with death for me!) beautiful daughters– who are God fearing, happy, and remarkable human beings! After years of accomplished academic work, school plays, talent shows, social clubs, and DANCE (try dance mom for 8 years!) they are both ALMOST leaving the nest.
I was so inspired by this quote written by the Dalai Lama, “Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.” Just like HELLP and toxemia I was not prepared for what was in store, however, March 2020 changed our lives forever. COVID-19 put a different spin on how we expected the events of Fall 2020 to roll out. My eldest daughter was finishing up her senior year at Howard University. She had already been given her wings to fly. She traveled to Washington, D.C. the summer of 2017, full academic scholarship, summer internship abroad, and study abroad, but all the amazing experiences would come to a halt and she had to return home. After dispersing her fruits of kindness, love, giving, and humanity all over the world, her entire senior year of college would be virtual (how rude) medical school interviews virtual, but graduation is on the horizon in May!! Let’s pray it’s not VIRTUAL. |
Now who can ever prepare for their BABY to leave the nest? I am so glad when my daughters were born, I decided to give them back to GOD because I couldn’t provide them the 24-hour protection he could. My youngest daughter was a COVID 2020 high school senior, no prom, no final high school walk through, no saying goodbye to all your teachers and friends, but we did end up having a graduation. The baby girl is my protector, my watchdog, and my TV buddy, who said she could leave? Surely, she wouldn’t leave the state of Texas, right? Well, was I wrong!
She decided to attend Florida A&M University. How dare she even think of leaving during this COVID-19 crisis! But guess what? She was spreading her wings! Wings to navigate life as an adult through an unprecedented pandemic. All we could do was PRAY! The roots were already planted, buds popping out, and now the fruit would come to full bloom. And her light would shine to encourage others to be careful, wear their masks, socially distance, because these things were ingrained in her daily.
When I look back on some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt, I can say without a doubt, it yielded the greatest rewards of my entire life!
She decided to attend Florida A&M University. How dare she even think of leaving during this COVID-19 crisis! But guess what? She was spreading her wings! Wings to navigate life as an adult through an unprecedented pandemic. All we could do was PRAY! The roots were already planted, buds popping out, and now the fruit would come to full bloom. And her light would shine to encourage others to be careful, wear their masks, socially distance, because these things were ingrained in her daily.
When I look back on some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt, I can say without a doubt, it yielded the greatest rewards of my entire life!
I decided to share my story because many women still die from toxemia or other pregnancy related complications, and unfortunately it happens to women of color at a much higher rate. For more information visit: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/68/wr/mm6835a3.htm)
Teresa Adigun is a Nurse Manager for MD Anderson, as well as a mother, advocate and mentor. |
Personal photos courtesy of Teresa Adigun
Stock photos: Thiago Borges via Pexels, iStockPhoto
Stock photos: Thiago Borges via Pexels, iStockPhoto
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